WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE JUST STAY EMPTY?

Chloe and Eugene

---''I have to say something before we begin, Chloe. You did not treat dogs very well in CHLOES BLOG, you know. You seemed to try to make fools out of us. We have ''feelings,'' too, you know, Chloe? As far as I'm concerned, you were A BAD KITTY. A BAD, BAD KITTY. ROWF, ROWF.''

---''I'm sorry you feel that way, Eugene. I was only joking. I am aware that there is some kind of UNCOMFORTABLENESS I have with dogs. It comes from instinct or something. I do admit to a sarcastic feeling to dogs in general, but now I'm digressing...and we all know that's, '''you-know-whose,'' job.''

---''We have known each other for years, so I accept your apology. But, remember, DOGS ARE PEOPLE, TOO.''

--''I'll try to remember...whatever it is that you said, Gene. Please, continue.''

---''So, why don't we stay empty, or at least why don't we want to? I'll tell you....it is NO fun to be empty. To feel that there is NOTHING inside. You feel HOLLOW. There is nothing going on in your life. You feel like [bleep.]. You feel [bleeping bleepy.]''

---''My producers now tell me that we have gone to an 8 second delay, in anticipation of your well-known potty mouth, Eugene.''

---''I'm SORRY, Chloe, but that feeling is so bad. It will eat your insides, if you let it. [bleep.]''

---''Let me see if I understand you, correctly. You eat with that mouth? You are saying that the feeling is so bad, that anything to replace it, is tempting?''

---''Anything is better, than feeling like [bleep.] A bone, doggy-treats, CATS...er, did I say Cats, out loud?''

---''Yes, you did and I am outta here! This segment is over! Let's go to a commercial break.'SOMEBODY, CUE THE GORILLAS.'' CHLOE